I used to say you should have these four stocks to be hedged when the stock market panics, as has been the case so far in the month of May. You want a cigarette stock, a liquor stock, a phone stock and a paper stock: I.e. Imasco, Seagrams, Bell and Domtar. That’s because in a panic, you want to light up a smoke, take a stiff drink, and call your broker to inform them you are sending a letter to the manager threatening legal action over the lousy stock picks they bought you.

I never liked gold that much in a panic. (Gold and gold equities tanked in the October 1987 panic before rallying). Unless, of course, you wanted to throw a bar of the yellow metal through the Broker’s window with a threatening note attached. The first one of these is no longer politically correct. And Seagram Company is no more, swallowed up in 2000. But you can still buy BCE (BCE) and Domtar (UFS). Arguably you could drop Domtar and just text message the jerk/jerkess.